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(no subject)
May. 11th, 2012 | 01:40 am
It seems like after a certain hour of the day, people who are by default supposed to 'stick around' for you just...disappear.
I hide a lot of my problems, I really do. I don't believe in sharing much because 1) it seldom helps and 2) it's not nice to throw baggage onto other people - most of the time, nobody is interested or willing to care.
But when I do say that I need some comfort, I sincerely do. When I indicate that 'something terrible' just happened, I do accurately mean that it's not a typical household kind of incident that just arose.
However, I get a partner who says he's too tired to try. My next best option, a cousin and best friend, has work the next day at 8 in the morning. My sibling and I aren't on fantastic terms and more often than not, on different frequencies. Half the extended family has abandoned us and the other half are too tired looking after their babies. My other best friends: one is in NZ and it's 6:30 a.m there, the other already didn't get to sleep last night due to an unreasonable client from work. Most semi-close friends who might be awake will judge. Those who will not...already have enough issues at hand.
(Oh, did I miss the 'parents' option?)
I know I have God but during such desperate times, I prefer listening to Him through an audible voice. Through a trusted source...
But instead, I sit here triple-tasking: typing to a non-responsive machine, cleaning horrid burn-wounds that might possibly scar my chest for life... And......weeping.
I hide a lot of my problems, I really do. I don't believe in sharing much because 1) it seldom helps and 2) it's not nice to throw baggage onto other people - most of the time, nobody is interested or willing to care.
But when I do say that I need some comfort, I sincerely do. When I indicate that 'something terrible' just happened, I do accurately mean that it's not a typical household kind of incident that just arose.
However, I get a partner who says he's too tired to try. My next best option, a cousin and best friend, has work the next day at 8 in the morning. My sibling and I aren't on fantastic terms and more often than not, on different frequencies. Half the extended family has abandoned us and the other half are too tired looking after their babies. My other best friends: one is in NZ and it's 6:30 a.m there, the other already didn't get to sleep last night due to an unreasonable client from work. Most semi-close friends who might be awake will judge. Those who will not...already have enough issues at hand.
(Oh, did I miss the 'parents' option?)
I know I have God but during such desperate times, I prefer listening to Him through an audible voice. Through a trusted source...
But instead, I sit here triple-tasking: typing to a non-responsive machine, cleaning horrid burn-wounds that might possibly scar my chest for life... And......weeping.
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Emotional inspiration 1
Nov. 29th, 2010 | 02:23 am
You can talk to me anytime
I'd actually like to hear
But thing is you're still too shy
And ever as weak as a deer
I know the plastic sheets that stop you
"So near yet so far"
When did this nightmare ever come true?
Now our lives are empty jars
Morning light no longer turns our darkness fair
And hurt runs everywhere with dirt
They can see through us: hollow and bare
As breakable as the feathers off a bird
It wasn't life as we knew it
What happened to all that zest?
So we ask ourselves, was it really worth the ditch?
I had no choice, I guess.
I'd actually like to hear
But thing is you're still too shy
And ever as weak as a deer
I know the plastic sheets that stop you
"So near yet so far"
When did this nightmare ever come true?
Now our lives are empty jars
Morning light no longer turns our darkness fair
And hurt runs everywhere with dirt
They can see through us: hollow and bare
As breakable as the feathers off a bird
It wasn't life as we knew it
What happened to all that zest?
So we ask ourselves, was it really worth the ditch?
I had no choice, I guess.
